A CASUALTY FAR FROM THE BATTLEFIELD -- FOR VETERANS, COMING HOME FROM WAR CAN BE HARDER THAN BEING DEPLOYED

(From an article by Kate Gurnett (Staff Writer) originally published in the Albany, NY TransUnion.com)

November 13, 2006

Expert advice for returning vets:

• Go easy on yourself and loved ones who are traumatized.
• Take things one day at a time.
• Remember: Everyone has bad days.
• Make yourself connect with people you care about.
• Keep your life as simple as possible. Rest when you can.
• Stay away from alcohol and caffeine to manage moods.
• Try to eat balanced meals.
• Take time to play with your children.
• Anniversaries, birthdays and holidays will be more difficult than other days. Plan ahead for how you can make them easier. Expect your children to act out. Give them extra support. This will pass.
• If you need support, ask for it. Family members and neighbors can help. You can coach them in what you need.
• We may not share your experience, but we do care.
  
  (Sources: Courtesy of Helena Davis, Mental Health Association in New York State)

What combat vets want families and friends to know about living with PTSD:

• Give me space when I need to be alone -- don't overwhelm me with questions. I'll come and talk to you when I'm ready.
• Get away from me if I am out of control, threatening or violent.
• Be patient with me, especially when I'm irritable.
• Don't personalize my behavior when I explode or get quiet.
• Learn and rehearse a time-out process.
• Don't patronize me or tell me what to do. Treat me with respect and include me in conversations and decision making.
• Don't pity me.
• Don't say "I understand" when there are some things that you cannot understand.
• Realize that I have unpredictable highs and lows, good and bad days.
• Anticipate my anniversary dates -- recognize that these could be tough times.
• I'd like to share my traumatic experiences with you, but I fear overwhelming you and losing you.
• I want to be close to you and share my feelings, but I'm afraid to -- and sometimes I don't know how to express my emotions.
• I also fear your judgment.
• Know that I still love and care about you, even if I act like a jerk sometimes.
• Don't ask me to go to crowded or noisy places because I'm uncomfortable in those settings.
  
  ( Sources: Courtesy of Vietnam combat vets and the Oklahoma City VA Medical Center)